Most days seem to click along like the hands of a clock. We go about our day with a song in our heart and are truly thankful for life and the blessings thereof. For the most part, I’m fairly self-aware. But there are some days that serve to remind me of my many limitations. Of course, there are several ways that God could use to point them out to me. Several times, though, He’s presented me with what I call “white knuckle time.”

The first one that I can recall, happened in Bellaire High School. A friend backed me up against the wall of an exterior walkway and accused me of breaking a confidence with which I’d been entrusted. At the time, I couldn’t believe what was happening. The more she talked, the tighter my fists became. How dare she question my integrity! Yes, being a “tomboy”…I had the urge to hit her so that she would feel the same hurt that she was causing to me. Yes…barring unforeseen disease, I’ll never forget that event. Those particular white knuckles appeared in anger. And, I’m still not comfortable with anger but, I suppose it’s there…lurking deep beneath the tranquil exterior.

Deal’s Gap was probably the next memorable time that the white knuckles appeared. My friend and I were on one of our many motorcycle adventures. In our travels, a total stranger (an ex-motorcyclist, if I remember correctly) had asked, “Are you goin’ to ride Deal’s Gap?” That was all it took! We only had a vague idea of what the ride would be. Had we known more about it, we probably would have reconsidered. Imagine 318 turns (curves) in 11 miles of a two-lane highway with no guard rail!! US 129 has been a killer to many but we didn’t know it…yet. It winds its way up and over the mountains of Tennessee into North Carolina. Anyway, without going into detail, I’ll just say that, when I realized what we were doing, it was too late to back out and the first words outta my mouth were, “Oh, shit!!” I’ll be honest with you. I don’t remember ever being that frightened at any other time in my entire life! During the ride, I prayed constantly that we’d both make it through Deal’s Gap alive and with our bikes in one piece. So…yes. I’ve known fear and those white knuckles appeared once again as I hung on “for dear life.” My own adventuresome spirit had gotten me into a most uncomfortable situation. As petrified as I was, though, I’ll have to admit that the entire experience was quite a “rush!”

I’m almost ashamed to admit this other white knuckle experience. Since the man has to be dead by now, I’ll blame it on Dr. Cooksy. He was the earliest dentist that I can remember. The one who told Mom that I didn’t need braces…when they’d have really helped the alignment of my lower teeth. He was also the only dentist I’ve ever known that actually had halitosis! Yup, that’s right. A dentist who had bad breath!! We should have walked out then…but we didn’t. Anyway, I think that he’s the source of my fear of drilling, smells, and possible pain in the dentist office. It seems that, rather than outgrowing that fear, it’s actually worsened through the years. Just last week one of my teeth cracked next to an old silver filling. So, there I sat in the dentist’s chair at his mercy. The peculiar thing about the situation was that I lay there with lots of hands and tools in my mouth and each of my own hands gripped the arms of the chair…as tears trickled from my eyes. There was no hiding my feelings! Quite simply, I’d temporarily reverted back to my childhood.

So, now that you know what “white knuckle time” is…what causes yours? I’d love for you to share in your comment.